It’s a longstanding rule: Children are unwelcome in the vast majority of finer restaurants. Because their antics, noise and maintenance requirements are ‘disruptive’. But some chefs are now saying kids deserve ‘a place at the table’…
Public debate on the issue hotted up after a years-long lull in 2023, when Nettie’s in Tinton Falls, New Jersey, publicly declared that no one under the age of 10 would be allowed in the restaurant.
Enough is enough
“We love kids. We really, truly, do,” the restaurant posted on its social media account. But… “Between noise levels, lack of space for high chairs, cleaning up crazy messes, and the liability of kids running around the restaurant, we have decided that it’s time to take control of the situation.”
The social media channels were ablaze with conflicting opinions – and unending stacks of horror stories about someone or another’s experience at a fine dining establishment that devolved into something out of a movie. Choose your franchise: Everything from the Marx Brothers to Jurassic Park…
The new breed
At José Andrés’ Washington DC resto Minibar, the stated ‘suggested’ minimum age for patrons is 16.
“One thing we emphasize when parents ask if we can make an exception is that kids will be served the same tasting menu as adults, and all tickets at the Chef’s Counter are priced the same,” says Clare McMillan, the restaurant’s guest experience manager. She also notes that Minibar recently welcomed its youngest guest yet, a 4-year-old.
“At two-starred Saint Pierre in Singapore, the Enfant menu, for children up to 9 years old, is four courses for $228 US dollars, with an optional $38 cheese supplement,” Food & Wine reports.
From the front lines
His self-penned bio at Food & Wine relates: “Darron Cardosa [pictured at top of page], also known as the Bitchy Waiter, is the voice of restaurant servers. His decades-long career in the restaurant ind-ustry and his very active social media presence have made him an expert on all things service relat-ed. He says out loud what other servers wish they could say.”
Who better to expound on the Dos and Don’ts of taking kids to ‘grown-up’ eateries?
Cardinal rules
Cardosa dares to posit a few cardinal rules governing the presence of children in ‘better’ restos…
Should kids order for themselves? Maybe…
“If your two-year-old wants to order for themself, that’s terrific! Just don’t turn it into a game of Password and make your server figure out what they’re trying to say.”
Please don’t lie to your kid
“We servers don’t want to be the bad guy or the disciplinarian so please don’t put us in that situation. If your child doesn’t finish all the broccoli on their plate, we don’t care, we honestly don’t. So when a parent says, “You better eat all of your vegetables or the waiter is going to be mad at you,” you’re literally lying to your child.”
Kids shouldn’t run around a restaurant — It’s for their own good
“Unless you’re at a restaurant that serves pizza and has a cheesy mouse named Chuck as a mascot, kids should probably stay seated at the table. This is easier said than done and I don’t expect anyone to tie their offspring to a chair, but restaurants are not for wandering.”
It’s OK to distract with an iPad or crayons, but there are rules
“Fifteen minutes can seem like a lifetime to a kid who’s waiting for food to come from the kitchen. Know what they want to eat and ask your server if it’s possible to get their food out first.”
Never ask a server to watch your kid for you
“Servers aren’t babysitters. If you need to run to the restroom or go outside to make a quick phone call, guess who gets to go with you: your child. It’s astonishing how many parents are willing to ask a server to “keep an eye” on their children when they step away for a moment.”
My take
I agree with all the issues Cardosa raises. And I’m thinking there are may more he could have brought up, if he was prone to droning on and on… But he’s definitely hit the high points.
As an overarching comment… I’d like add that, if you plan to enlarge a kid’s dining horizons and teach them how to behave in broader, grown-up society… It’s a good idea to prepare them for the event and stress how important it is to act ‘grown-up’. Go over the seating and ordering scenario at home. And try to instill in your little ones that the server is an important presence at your meal – someone to be respected…
~ Maggie J.