I thought I’d seen it all. All the ridiculous lengths that food processors and packagers would go to, to make their products appeal to consumers. I’m okay with labels that say ‘No Trans Fats’, and ‘Sugar Free’ and so on, on most products. But I draw a line when the marketing people go completely crazy…
I also have no problem with labeling that tells me what’s in a product or that it’s Kosher or ‘GMO-Free’ I’m actually glad to hear that some foods are Organic, or at least Hormone- and steroid Free. But there are some products where labeling is manipulative at best and downright deceptive at worst. I also believe that those taken in by such tricks have only themselves and their ignorance to blame.
But what I saw while checking my usual food news sources this morning just about made me throw the keyboard out a window in disgust. If you think what I’m about to relate is reasonable and sane, that tells me a lot about your age and education. It tells me you’re young and/or uneducated. (Of course, none of my faithful readers fall into that category!) But I was literally struck dumb to read what one Mineral Water purveyor is claiming for its ‘premium water’ beverage!
Black seems ‘not so beautiful’…
Blk. mineral water, that is. The stuff is advertised, on its website thus:
“blk. has zero calories, zero carbs, zero sugars, zero caffeine, and contains no dyes, flavorings or additives. We’re gluten-free, non-GMO, certified kosher, and organic. blk. is 100% low-key hydrating goodness, under wraps.”
ALL Mineral Waters are naturally Gluten Free, Non-GMO, Kosher and Organic! Who are they trying to kid? ALL mineral Waters are naturally Zero-Calorie, -Sugar, -Caffeine -Artificial Colours and -Artificial Flavours.These are not valid marketing points, unless your target audience is woefully uneducated or totally ill-informed!
The Blk. website FAQ page also touts, “77 naturally-occurring trace minerals, trace elements, amino acids, and electrolytes.”
ALL mineral waters contain some trace elements and minerals. And, since they’re just ‘traces’ they don’t really make that much difference in your health or feelings of wellness. Unless you drink a LOT of water.
Blk. makes a big deal about being ‘alkaline’. My drinking water, right from the tap, is more alkaline than most mineral waters. Blk. water has a pH of 8 – that’s just one tick to the alkaline side of neutral! Check with your local Water Works. They’ll tell you exactly what’s in your tap water.
So, what’s so special about .blk water?
Well, the bottle is pretty. And the stuff might taste okay. I haven’t tried it and I don’t plan to. There are no fewer than 8 ‘flavours’, all ‘natural’ we presume, but even that term remains ill-defined.
The makers insist that what sets blk. apart from other mineral waters is what they call ‘Fluvic and Humic Acids’ and ‘Fluvic Minerals’. They add those to plain old spring water. Experts say that those acids are not essential to human health. Not even all that helpful. But ‘Fluvic Acid’ And Fluvic Complex’ supplements are among the latest health fads.
The main constituent minerals and trace elements in blk. are stated in the FAQ.Tthere’s nothing there that’s out of the ordinary. Only the black colour of the water, it appears, really differentiates it from the rest of the pack.
And that colour comes from organic material in soil. Like the brown water in peat bogs. Or swamps. It’s not harmful, but it’s not helpful, either.
At least, according to the .blk website FAQs, the product will not stain your teeth.
Blk. water seems to be like a balloon – full of hot air. The makers don’t make any false claims. But they do overstate the benefits of their product to an extreme I’ve never seen before. Again, I ask: Who do they think they’re kidding? They must think they’re going to convince somebody their water is better than the rest, or they wouldn’t have gone to all that trouble, rationalizing, stating the obvious and blowing their own horn. I doubt they’ll ensnare anyone over 40 in their trap. But, then, its the under-40s who are buying most of the bottled water. And those under-40s are about to ascend the societal ladder and start running the world. *SIGH*
~ Maggie J.