More about the psychology of dining habits than what you’re eating or drinking. A new study suggests that ‘Couples who drink to-gether, stay together’. And that’s good news these days, where the divorce rate even among the most committed is 50 percent…
It’s a sad statistic. But it’s now the norm, nonetheless. One in two couples that join at the altar will burst at the seams for one reason or another. And it probably won’t be after a long marriage, either. Most young couple getting hitched today know – and admit – it’s not working after just a few years – some after mere months.
Updated
Dr Kira S. Birditt of the University of Michigan (UoM) has been keeping tabs on data gathered as part of a larger UoM survey. That survey checks back with its pool of subject couples over age 50 at regular intervals to see how they’re getting along (pun intended). Burditt’s latest update, based on interviews carried out in 2023, has resulted in her coining a theory she calls ‘ The Drinking Partnership’.
What she does
Every 2 years, the The University of Michigan Health and Retirement Study (HRS) looks up its study couples and asks them (among many others) a couple of key questions abut their drinking habits:
- Participants are asked whether they had consumed any alcohol in the past three months.
- They are then categorized based on whether both, one, or neither partner drank.
What Burditt found
According to a recent story at Delish.com, The results showed that couples who reported drinking alcohol within the last three months had better survival rates than couples in which only one or neither partner drank.
“We’ve also found, in other studies, that couples who drink together tend to have better relationship quality. […] [That] might be because [drinking] increases intimacy,” Birditt speculates.
“The study points more to social connection than the alcohol itself,” Dr. Raj Dasgupta, Chief Medical Advisor for Garage Gym Reviews, tells Delish. “When both partners share a habit — good or bad — it can strengthen their relationship, which may help with longevity and stress.”
On the other hand… “Shared drinking might make you feel more connected in the short term, but the long-term health impact of alcohol doesn’t change based on whether your partner joins you,” Dasgupta points out.
The takeaway
“We’re not sure why this is happening,” Dr Kira S. Birditt of the University of Michigan (UoM) told Reuters. “But it could be that couples that do more leisure time activities together have better marital quality.”
“The study points more to social connection than the alcohol itself,” Dasgupta opines. “When both partners share a habit — good or bad — it can strengthen their relationship, which may help with longevity and stress.”
My take
The Drinking Partnership theory suggests that couples with similar drinking habits have healthier marriages. It’s a simplistic proposal, to be sure. And I have some bones to pick with Burditt over that notion.
My own marriage did not benefit nor suffer, particularly, as a result of my partner’s and my shared drinking habits. In fact, the relationship pretty much did what it wanted, independently, whether we drank together or apart, or one or both of us abstained for various intervals.
What we did agree on – albeit on unspoken terms – was that drinking together kept us ‘on the same page’ socially and functionally. Which was a condition we managed to maintain for many – too many – years, while other aspects of the union were falling apart around us. And that might have looked, to outside observers, like a marriage that was working…
I suspect our experience has been shared by more couples who eventually broke up than would openly admit it.
~ Maggie J.