I saw the headline and cringed. Not only because it strikes me as a bad idea right off the top, but because it’s being hyped by celebrities – a circumstance that ensures a lot of impressionable people and celeb worshipers will just go ahead and do it without applying any critical thinking…
Like my Zodiac Sign, Capricorn the Goat, I’ll eat almost anything…
Forget the Mediterranean Diet, which is based on solid science and eons of proof that it works as demonstrated by the exceptional health of cultures that have traditional espoused it. What you really need if the Zodiac Diet, under which what you eat depends on your star sign.
So say a host of celebs, including none other than Oprah Winfrey, who’s been known to dabble in all kinds of diets – as long as they’re stylish or outlandish enough. If Dr. OZ wasn’t busy running for the U.S. Senate in Pennsylvania, he’d probably be leading the Zodiac Diet parade.
What is it?
Well-known British astrologer Sally Kirkman, whose dual majors at the University of Hocus-Pocus were star reading and food, was tapped by London’s Daily Mirror for the lowdown. She insists the Zodiac Diet isn’t just ‘New Age mumbo-jumbo’. Rather, she insists it has its roots (and leaves and berries) in 17th century herbalism.
“Different planets are said to rule different herbs, and herbalists and apothecaries used this knowledge to treat people and prescribe certain food and drink centuries ago,’ she explains. “Each star sign is linked to a part of the body, so this also has a bearing on diet. And the season someone was born in can tell you a lot about what they should and shouldn’t eat.”
So… ‘For entertainment purposes only’, I would like to present Sally’s prescription (exactly as it appeared in the Mirror) for my sign…
Capricorn
WHAT TO EAT: Ruled by Saturn, Capricorn is one of the Earth signs and people born under this sign have a tendency to be sensible and austere in their diet.
‘Capricorns like traditional meals — meat and two veg; roast dinner — and aren’t hugely interested in flavour. They eat three times a day because they have to,’ Sally explains.
‘This sign is linked to the bones and the teeth, so they need calcium-rich foods such as cheese, yoghurt and spinach.
‘Saturn is a cold planet, so they also tend to like cold foods, including ice cream and salad — a traditional one with ham and egg in it.’
WHAT TO AVOID: Sweets, fizzy drinks and tea. ‘What they eat is reflected in their skin and their teeth, so they have to be careful with foods that could damage these,’ says Sally.
Is that me? Really?
Judge for yourself.
First: I am not what you would call ‘sensible and austere’ in my diet. In fact, I’m up to trying anything that my curiosity gene twigs to. I do have limits, but they’re broad and deep.
Second: I am a fan of different eating experiences. I really enjoy trying the foods and dining customs of other cultures, and have incorporated many of these in my personal culinary repertoire.
Third: I AM ‘hugely interested in flavour’. If you’re a regular reader of the FFB, you’ll know that already. And I would love to eat three times a day – morning, afternoon and evening – if I could swing it.
Fourth: I am not particularly fond of cold foods. Vichyssoise and Gazpacho aren’t my first choice for the soup course. Salad? I love it! From Pamnzanella, to Julienne, to Waldorf to Cobb. But I never add ham and egg if it’s not part of the traditional recipe.
Fifth: I’d rather be dead than avoid ‘sweets, fizzy drinks and tea’. Gimme a break.
By the way…
The celeb model chosen by Sally to represent Capricorns is none other than the Duchess of Cambridge. She’s 4 days (and a number decades) younger than me.
A final word
The Zodiac Diet warns that, if you don’t follow its guidelines, you’ll suffer from any number of dreaded diseases and conditions including indigestion and nausea, headaches hypertension and high cholesterol, because your body will be out of sync with the planets. That one sounds to me like just another version of the old curse attached to not forwarding a chain letter.
Muse on that…
~ Maggie J.