It used to be that anyone dining alone in a restaurant was immediately marked as some sort of pariah. There must be some dark reason behind it. But now, solo dining is considered okay. And may even constitute a new trend…
Dining out alone is not the social no-no it used to be…
An instructor of mine at culinary school once remarked, wryly, that anyone seen dining solo at a restaurant was either a food critic, a ‘secret shopper’ for the competition or someone compiling a cookbook. I’ve never subscribed to that theory. Nor have I assumed that solo diners must somehow be outcasts or ‘strangers’.
Old school prejudice
When I was growing up, I longed for the day my folks would start taking me to restaurants. I had heard so much from them and other adults about the ‘dining out’ experience, and seen so much on television and in the movies, that my mouth was almost watering. But the grand occasion that was implied in ‘going out to eat’ was diminished for me early in the game.
About the third time out, I was seated, quietly in awe of the décor, the servers and the table settings, when Mom whispered across the table to Dad: “There’s a woman over in the corner eating alone…” Dad pretended he hadn’t heard. So Mom, assertive she was back then, went on: “Probably a widow. Or an out-of-towner, visiting.” Dad looked up. But still said nothing. “I hope she wasn’t stood up by some dumb jerk…”
Then Dad broke his silence: “It’s none of MY business…”
I thought, “Way to go, Dad!” In my innocence, I saw the situation in more or less the same way he did. Albeit, for different reasons, I now realize. And the incident has remained seared into my memory.
The new reality
Dining out en seul is no longer an egregious no-no. And champions of the new ‘standard’ have been quick to defend the practice:
“Eating alone is an indulgence, not a punishment,” one slogan insists.
“A solo meal can be a moment of blissful solitude in a busy world,” another points out.
“Sometimes the best company you can have is a delicious meal and your own thoughts,”winks yet another.
Restos will welcome you
it used to be that diners thought restaurants balked at seating single diners. Not so. At least not any more, now that sit-down, white-table-cloth establishments are fighting for survival in an increasingly on-the-go world. They welcome all comers.
In fact, there are those who profess to set down rules for dining solo ‘properly’. Quora archives a lengthy thread titled, “What is the proper etiquette for dining alone at a fancy restaurant?” And The Food Network dares to offer it’s own ‘Tips For Eating Out Alone’.
My take
I’ve never had any compunctions about dining out at any kind of restaurant on m,y own. I guess, maybe, my journalistic career kind of distanced me from conventional dining practices, what with its all-hours, on the run, on call nature.
But I do understand that the vast majority of folks out there may have been forced to confront the realities of solo dining during the COVID lock down. And may still be having trouble with it.
My advice? Fear not. I have never been denied a table for one, much less been thrown out of an eatery, over decades of hometown and travelling experience!
~ Maggie J.