These two nutty Asian offerings just couldn’t wait until tomorrow, to appear in our Fast Food Week rundown of the top grab-and-go sector announcements of the previous week. Do they stand up to a real taste test? Are they really going to wow consumers? Do we need them at all?
Cheesy Ramen: New Asian-themed product looking for a reason to exist.
Cheesy Ramen – A product ‘suggestion’
This is not a real product as yet. But wait until next week. A TikTok contributor on the insta.noodles channel suggests heating butter, milk and a squirt of Sriracha in a fry pan, then stirring in American (Processed) Cheese, and adding freshly reanimated plain Ramen Noodles. What you get is a cross between Noodles Alfredo and Creamy Mac and Cheese – with a spicy Asian edge. Unless all one eats is various iterations of Ramen, this idea has already been done, and done better in other culinary venues with Tex-Mex Chili spices. Millions of TikTok followers will probably make this once though – just for the novelty factor.
But that hasn’t stopped other food bloggers from extolling the allegedly yummy virtues of the dish, and even suggesting that Kraft get off its relatively complacent duff, and rush an instant version to market. Just a few adjustments and additions needed to the iconic KD/Instant Mac and Cheese product, as FoodBeast’s Reach Guinto enthuses:
“Throw in the seasoning packet and I’m betting everything that it’ll be certified bussin’.”
With or without the Sriracha, I’ll pass. For me – and millions of other cooks who know how to whip up a real Mac and Cheese or Noodles Alfredo in minutes – the proposed ‘Instant Cheesy Ramen’ is based on a comic-opera ingredient – ‘American’ Cheese. They don’t traditionally use Cheese much (if at all) in Asian cooking. They prefer Soy products like Tofu hands down. So the ‘Cheesy Ramen’ concept is a horrific culture clash, on top of the other culinary dissonances that it embodies.
Not the least of which is ‘American Cheese’. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: There’s not much real cheese in ‘American Cheese’. Cheese (some of it removed from supermarket shelves because it was nearing its best before date) is melted and cooked with vegetable oil, milk solids and other stuff (notably colouring) to produce the familiar soft ‘cheesy’ slice. For big fans, who love to melt it and pour it all over just about everything, it comes in big blocks from Kraft under the brand name ‘Velveeta’.
Ready-to-Drink Canned Curry
“What the…?” I hear you say.
The product, Curry na Kibun Chukara (see photo, top of page), now on Japanese shelves, is from Pokka Sapporo, a major beverage purveyor in that country, and débuted in three flavours: beef, pork, and vegetable, each mixed with a 10-ingredient Curry spice blend. The name translates, roughly, to, ‘I Feel Like Some Medium-Spicy Curry’.
The official news release touts the strange concoction’s screw-on top as a means of resealing the can between quaffs. Does that mean that ‘a little dab ‘ll do ya’? Or is it a lightly cloaked indication that most folks won’t be able to take a whole can at one drinking?And what of the maker’s suggestion that the drink be sold either at room temperature or pre-heated, per customer preference. I’m guessing that taste testers quickly decided curry flavour doesn’t cut it chilled.
Okay. I’m waxing – perhaps unnecessarily and/or unfairly – negative. But I just can’t get my head around the concept.
What do you pair it with, food-wise? No suggestion from Pokka Sapporo, apparently. I can’t think of any, either. Except, maybe, if you wanted to use a canful as the base for a quick, spicy Asian Soup or sauce.
Under what circumstances are you supposed to drink it? Certainly not as a cooler on a hot summer day. And give me a jumbo Latté any day when I need to warm up in the depths of winter.
Who came up with the idea of Curry in a beverage, anyway? We’ll probably never know. And the unfortunate soul responsible for the product probably prefers it that way. Historically, Japanese executives who perpetrated such abominations were expected to die with honour, by committing Seppuku (ritual self-disembowlment).
The bottom line…
Cheesy Ramen is, simply, a complete redundancy made with inferior ingredients.
Canned ready-to-drink warm Curry beverage is a product looking for a reason to exist.
If I want cheesy noodles, I’ll make my own Ramen Alfredo with real cream and Peccorino Romano Cheese. If I want Curry, I’ll whip up a quick Béchamel, or a Mirin broth, and spike it with Red or Yellow Curry Powder – or, better yet, Thai Red or Green Curry Paste. Making it my way is just as quick as perparing ‘Cheesy Ramen’ or Curry na Kibun Chukara, and the end product is healthier (no artificial flavours or colours) and much more satisfying…
~ Maggie J.