The beginning of each week here at the Fab Food Blog has recently been reserved for expeditions into the cuisines of various cultures around the world. Time, now, for a complete 180: A look back at August’s craziest food concepts from the simply nutty to the obscenely stupid…
The official portrait of From The Ashes BBQ’s Pork Shoulder Doughnut.
And.. What’s that white powdery stuff? Confectioners’ Sugar?
It’s essentially a study in, “They did it because they could.” Not necessarily because it would taste good or be good for you. We do these surveys of culinary bottom-feeders several times a year, not only to amuse and amaze, but to emphasize how important it is to make sensible choices in what we eat.
This time, we introduce a new feature designed to help you gauge the relative craziness of the way-out-there concepts we list: The Stupid Scale. One ‘X’ mans we’ve judged the entry mildly silly. Five ‘X’s means we’ve found no redeeming value whatsoever in the dish in question. But feel free to differ with our evaluations. If you must.
Here we go…
Watermelon Pizza
Folks with more time on their hands than sense in their heads recently launched what they wanted to become a new craze on TikTok: Watermelon Pizza. It’s simply a round slab of watermelon festooned with various fruits and, basically, sundae toppings (see photo, top of page). As it stood, the concept was mostly harmless.
But Dominos (Australia), who must have dedicated staff members continually scanning the social media channels, decided to make some promo hay by actually topping a watermelon round with regular Pizza dressings: sauce, cheese, and pepperoni – and baking it. The photo looks weird enough. But I can’t imagine eating it. The unavoidable mess would be distressing enough in itself.
The Fab Food Blog awards this fad/trend: XXXXX
Advent Calendars in August? Really ?
Hold on, there… According to Wikipedia: “Advent is a season of the liturgical year observed in most Christian denominations as a time of expectant waiting and preparation for both the celebration of the Nativity of Christ at Christmas and the return of Christ at the Second Coming.” This year, it begins on Sunday, November 28, and ends on Friday, December 24. That’s 4 months away. So why does up-scale food blog Delish have a post up now listing its ’12 Best Food And Drink Advent Calendars To Buy This Holiday Season’? I’m stumped.
The Fab Food Blog awards this fad/trend: XXXX
Ghost Tequila
The brand is Gran Agave Ghost Edition Reposado. And the big deal over it, once again, started on TikTok. Even now, the hashtag #GhostTequila remains active. But they’re touting it as a Hallowe’en specialty.
The idea of Advent calendars in August is totally crazy, but Hallowe’en stuff in August is almost as nuts. I guess, if the renewed threat from COVID’s Delta variant and others predicted to follow it persists through the end of October, some folks may choose to take solace in staying home and getting hammered on ‘Hallowe’en’ Tequila, rather than risking attending parties.
The Fab Food Blog awards this fad/trend: XXX
While we’re at it…
Why are the big ‘pop’ food blogs already running posts advising which resto chains will be open on Thanksgiving? Canadian Thanksgiving is always the Second Monday of October, and that’s still six weeks away. But American Thanksgiving is the last Thursday of November – 12 weeks away. Is there nothing else more pressing or interesting to write about?
The Fab Food Blog awards this fad/trend: XX
Wine-Inspired ‘Uncorked Slushes’
SONIC, the folks with the super-hero Hedgehog mascot, have been newly active this past year, frequently launching new limited time menu items. The latest is what it calls ‘Uncorked Slushes’, alcohol-free crushed ice drinks dressed up to look and taste like popular wine cookers and cocktails.
Choose from Strawberry Frosé, Red Berry Sangria and Peach Bellini. The question is, if you’re an adult and want a Bellini or Sangria, or a Rose off the ice, why not just get one? And is this the right message to be sending impressionable kids: that ‘wine’ drinks are harmless? Maybe I’m just an old fuss-budget, but…
The Fab Food Blog awards this fad/trend: XX plus one more X for the kiddie angle.
A Pork Shoulder Doughnut
From The Ashes BBQ in London, UK, is offering a Pork Shoulder Doughnut sandwich that’s so far out there, I wonder is the most ardent pork lovers would ever order it, even once, except maybe out of curiosity (see featured photo, above). it’s described as, ” A handmade doughnut, chili jam, BBQ sauce, smoked pork shoulder, and a dusting of crackling.” It’s just criminal to mix chili jam and BBQ Sauce in the same dish. And using a handmade doughnut as a bun is a ridiculous exercise in excess – not to mention an abominable anomaly in the overwhelming presence of all that pig and hot stuff!
The Fab Food Blog awards this fad/trend: XXX plus one X more, just for the desperation-level stupidity.
IKEA ‘Brings Back Swedish Crayfish Party Meal’
It’s a real thing in Sweden: a seasonal celebration of the small, lobster-like freshwater crustacean that’s also beloved in the U.S. South. IKEA is bringing back its own version of the party at its in-store cafés in the form of a spicy crayfish plate, truffle cream crayfish spaghetti, and a mango crayfish salad.
I suspect a huge majority of average North American’s will take one look and pass. Anyway, I guess IKEA is doing well enough to float this promotion for the novelty factor and the inevitable publicity, whether positive or negative. I mean, even I fell for it…
The Fab Food Blog awards this fad/trend: XX
And that’s just the worst of a bad batch
Were you just amused to read about the ridiculous food fads enumerated above? Or were you, like me, disgusted or at least ticked off? Some people obviously have too much time on their hands, and not enough grey matter between their ears…
~ Maggie J.