The guys and gals who sit in windowless rooms all day, ‘visualizing’ new ideas to market cheese, have outdone themselves this time. But can they really rationalize selling cheese slices by thickness?
But it appears that all the other ways of differentiating (for marketing purposes) have been exhausted. Some after being used previously, more than once over the last 100 years or so.
So, it doesn’t surprise me so much as disappoint me that latest-and-greatest gimmick is to sell Cheese slices in various thicknesses for different purposes.
No, really.
The ultimate in convenience?
The new gimmick is being floated by Kraft – which likes to stay at the forefront in areas where it traditionally leads the market.
The stated reasoning behind offering ‘slice thickness varieties’ is to help the consumer find their way through, “the struggle of finding the optimum slice size for cheese.” The extra-thin slices are claimed best for applications such as, “breakfast sandwiches, eggs, burgers, and more.” And the ultra-thick slices are deemed best for, “grilled cheese, nachos, cheese fries, quesadillas, and mac & cheese.”
The Ultra-Thick slices are 50 percent thicker than Original Kraft Singles at 80 Calories per slice and 16 slices per pack. Extra-Thins come in at 30 percent fewer Calories (40 calories per slice) and 30 slices per pack.
My take
I, personally, have never ‘struggled’ with choosing a slice of ‘American’ (Processed) Cheese for any particular application. Deciding whether to use one slice or two has never over-tasked my poor old brain. But I guess there are folks who agonize over such decisions daily.
And one of the first things that passed though my mind after reading the headline on the source of today’s post was, “Didn’t Kraft previously sell ‘Kraft Singles Original Thick Slices‘ expressly for dressing big, beautiful home-made, fresh-off-the-grill summer-cookout burger?” Yep. And apparently they still do…
And it turns out that another brand already sells an ‘Ultra-Thin’ slice – so the logical name for the thinner Kraft slice was already taken. That posed a clunky problem that I presume the Kraft brain trust felt couldn’t be handled any other way. Maybe, maybe not…
OREO had the right idea
Just how creative (or, for that matter, necessary) is it to offer different ‘slice thickness varieties’? For practical purposes, a real challenge for me would have been to come up with a rationale for offering Thick, Double Thickness, Even Thicker, Ultra-Thick and Thickest Ever slices, for whatever application the user is into.
OREO had the right idea with its Stuf Thickness campaign. The cookie company came up with a great idea – just the right number of thicknesses, cross-promotional compatibility with other OREO promo concepts, and some good-natured fun thrown in. Even a tongue-in-cheek chuckle aimed at themselves.
The ultimate cheese slice commercial?
I remember – maybe 30 years ago – the ultimate Kraft Cheese commercial – ever. Visualize two 10-year-olds sitting on a front stoop eating school lunches featuring sandwiches and big chunks of Kraft Cheddar (video, above).
Where, I ask you, have all the truly creative people gone?
~ Maggie J.