Hah. And you thought that, with Christmas falling on a weekend, we’d forgotten about Fast Food Week. Never! Here she comes, albeit with a slightly attenuated story roster, proving that – like rust – Fast Food never sleeps. Here’s what’s been happening in the grab-and-go universe…
The heart of the matter: The Stellar Pizza pie-making robot. Rides aboard a
custom chassis similar to the kind they build up into tow trucks.
New brand confident it’s the perfect soda
Perfy (short for ‘perfect’) soda is a newcomer to the soft drink scene claiming it’s, “the functional soda that supports calm + focus + balance because it’s made with the perfect combination of delicious & functional ingredients like real fruit juice, nootropics, adaptogens, and a blend of stevia, monk fruit, and allulose.” If you look at the standard Nutrition Info label on the can, the Daily Requirement column is all zeros. Except for Sodium (4%) and Total carbs (3%). Inaugural flavours include Fruit Punch, Tropical Citrus and Blood Orange.
Taco Bell’s Mexican Pizza coming back…
Taco Bell customers were outraged when the resto removed its Mexican Pizza from its menu a little over a year ago. Apparently, the Bell’s brain trust thought the dish was nothing more than a niche item.
Well, the uproar has never completely died down since the Mexican Pizza disappeared – and now, the Bell has confirmed it’s coming back, probably by April or May of 2022. No word about whether it will be a permanent menu item or a limited-time attention-getter.
… Crispy Chicken Wings going national
About a year ago, Taco Bell quietly test marketed Crispy Chicken Wings in Fullerton, CA. Apparently, they were a hit! Now, they’re preparing to go national starting January 6, after 2 p.m., for a limited time. They’re being featured in a Crispy Chicken Wings on-the-go box for $5.99, including the Bell’s signature Spicy Ranch Dipping Sauce.
Chipotle opens new digital kitchen
It’s a prototype, but it may be the Chipotle’s of the future, cutting staff, overheads and other franchisee costs dramatically while increasing profits. The Chipotlane Digital Kitchen will have no dining room or front-of store burrito-building line.
There will be a drive-thru window and a patio. The digital aspect comes in via a new focus on online and mobile ordering. If you’re anywhere near Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio, drop by starting next week and see what you think…
Doritos adds another Flamin’ Hot flavour
Understand this vital Doritos factoid: All Doritos are the same until they go through their pre-bagging spray of oil-suspended flavourings. So it’s easy for Frito-Lay Canada to try new versions of their iconic chip. Now, they’ve pumped out Flamin’ Hot Cool Ranch Doritos – which sounds to me like a contradiction in terms or, at least, like something I don’t want in my mouth. But I’m old and stodgy, and I’ll stick with plain Cool Ranch Doritos, thank you.
Novelty Alert! Cheech Marin delivers weed-themed munchies
For some folks of my generation, the hazy, brazen antics of comedians Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong were our first ‘public’ look at the doper subculture. Chong has pretty much retired, now, but Marin has remained active, in movies like Tin Cup (with Kevin Costner), commercials and other media appearances.
Now, Marin has partnered with restaurateur Zach Neil to launch a food delivery service for stoners called Muncheechos. It’s in New York City and will deliver from a network of ghost kitchens until 3 a.m. With menu items such as Asian-style Dope Dumplings, Up In Smoke brisket tacos, and Muncheechos Munchachos nachos, it’s sure to be a hit with munchies sufferers. Hope they don’t expect the food to be dosed with cannabis!
Novelty Alert! Former SpaceX staff launch pizza ‘satellite’
A crew of former engineers from Elon Musk’s SpaceX rocket company have taken on what may be an even more important project – important to Pizza lovers, anyway. They’ve produced the prototype of a new mobile Pizza parlour that assembles and bakes your pie on the way to your location. Fully baked in just 5 minutes, your pie is literally handed to you direct from the oven. And human hands nevedr4 touch your pie until you grab it off the truck. It’s al about robotics! Stellar Pizza partners Benson Tsai, Brian Langone, and James Wahawisan say the rolling Pizza plant is the way of the future, as rents, utilities, staff wages and other costs of brick-and-mortar restos continue to soar.
International Alert! McD’s S. Korea is at it again!
… Serving up Truffle Rich Potato Burgers (see photo, top of page). They’re fairly classy sandwiches, with two beef patties, truffle sauce, home fries, American (Processed) cheese, tomato, lettuce, and spicy mayo sauce – all stacked on McD’s signature sesame seed bun. There’s also a Truffle Rich Potato Mushroom Burger that adds sautéed mushrooms. Nice touch. They’re around for a limited time, as are all McD’s best, most popular menu items.
And that’s the skinny…
… On what will be making some of us fatter after the Christmas and New Year’s dinner leftovers are cleaned out of the freezer. See you back here in 7 – no, 8 or 9 – with the next edition of fast Food Week!
~ Maggie J.