I spent 15 precious minutes this morning, reading every word of a BuzzFeed story on Food Crimes. Some of the quirky habits I had heard of before, but most I had not. And I had to agree that some of them should be classed as indictable offenses…
Spaghetti served with sauce on top: A crime to those of Italian extraction.
But the way most of the non-Italian world eats it… Should it
be considered criminal, antisocial or just quirky?
The aforementioned article lists 32 ‘preferences’, any of which could be called ‘crimes against food’. Redditor u/u/No_Analysis8135 asked, “What is the most heinous food crime?” Disgusted followers were only too happy to respond…
Some glaring examples
‘My mother microwaves [chef’s] salad.”
“Serving undressed noodles with a pool of sauce on top. […] For the love of God, add the pasta back into the sauce before serving.”
“I had a girlfriend who would eat butter straight from the stick. Seriously. As if it were a candy bar.”
“My aunt stirs a spoonful of sugar into her glass of red wine. Now that is a new one for me, and it’s unforgivable.“
“A student I went to school with ate pineapples with mayo.”
“My roommate eats peanut butter and mayo sandwiches.”
“My wife puts mayo, egg, corn, potato and French fries on pizza like it’s normal.”
“Putting ice cubes in milk. My daughter does this and it drives me nuts.”
“Making a burger that is so fat I can’t fit my mouth around it. I want to be able to taste all of the toppings in each mouthful without ingredients falling out of the bun.”
“My mother-in-law’s burrito recipe should be an actual crime. It’s a room temperature flour tortilla, boiled hot dog, canned black olives, and shredded carrots.”
“My roommate puts apple sauce on anything from tacos or fish, to spaghetti or burgers.”
If that wasn’t enough…
BuzzFeed has seen fit to add links at the bottom of the page, to half a dozen other ‘food crime’ posts it’s featured in the past.
To quote Hamlet: “There are more things in heaven and Earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”
The question is, should the so-called food crimes enumerated above be considered criminal, antisocial or just quirky?
What about the U.S. constitution’s guarantee of freedom of expression?
And here’s another canny old expression: “One man’s meat is another man’s poison.”
Muse on that…
~ Maggie J.