Flat Croissante - © 2024 - Alexanders Patisserie

Seriously: Is The ‘Flat Croissant Trend’ A Real Thing?

I have my doubts about a new ‘thing’ that avant garde food blog FoodBeast is promoting. It’s contributor Nirmala Singh again. And this time, she’s all agog about something she’s calling ‘The Flat Croissant Trend’. Is it real?

Mango Flat Croissant - © 2024 - Elena Kadvany - SF ChronicleA ‘Mango Chocolate’-dipped Flat Croissant.

You’ll remember Nirmala from our challenge to a recent FoodBeast post that COSTCO’s ‘outed’ a new secret deal: The 120-coo0kie mega-box for just $32.

What she said

Nirmala gushed (unprofessionally, from a journalistic standpoint) about how to get a mega-box of COSTCO’s, “…ooey, gooey, large cookies that you love so much, for a steal.”

She concentrated on the ecnomics of the deal. It works out to just $0.25 per cookie – an unheard of low price these days. But… Though she does mention that the mega-box comes frozen, she neglects to mention that the cookies come frozen – and unbaked.

I also had some nits to pick over her neglect of the negative aspects of the mega-box deal. But I will accept that he job was to hype the cookie deal, but to explore it in depth. That’s the FoodBeast editorial approach, except on a few occasions I’ve noted.

What is she saying, now?

This time, Nirmala is promoting the ‘Flat Croissant’ as a new foodie trend. A ‘thing’, if you will. She makes it sound as the things are popping up, virally, all over the global ‘Food Forward’ scene.

She oozes praise for the flatties with assertions such as, “These crunchy, crispy, and buttery treats are available in […] natural butter flavor or dipped in either mango or strawberry chocolate.”

Singh also reposts excerpts from an Instagram account where fans exult the new ‘treat’:

  • “I’m definitely intrigued.”
  • “Now make one with cheese, please.”
  • Some were straight-up asking why in French.
  • Finally: “Why do people want to tinker with perfection?! A croissant is the pinnacle of patisserie. I can’t stand people filling it or putting stuff on it! IT IS PERFECT AS IS!”

Wow! Sounds great, eh? NOT! A split decision, to say the least…

Just one problem…

There is no actual trend. All there is just one trendy bakery: Alexander’s Patisserie in Mountain View, California.

That’s hardly a trend. Let alone a fad. The Flat Croissant is, at best, a curiosity.

Even Nirmala admits it’s not everybody’s cup of sidewalk-bistro espresso: “Sylvie from ‘Emily in Paris’ is definitely hating this.”

So why all the fanfare?

Nirmala Singh isn’t a real journalist. Not even close. She’s just a gushy gossip who likes to splash her neighbourhood discoveries all over the net via a ‘megaphone’ provided (unwisely) by Food Beast.

She’s in the same league as Henrik Rothen, a would-be food writer who shouldn’t be. She doesn’t follow the basics precepts of journalism. If she even knows them. She intentionally misleads – maybe even deceives – in her headlines, for gosh sakes!

The venerated and revered – and greatly respected – San Francisco Chronicle reviewed the Flattened Croissant. It headlined it’s story: “Is a flat croissant the next big thing in the Bay Area, or a horrible mistake?”

My take

For the record I want to state that I’m solidly on side with the serious, professional journalists at the SFC. The Flat Croissant strikes me as, ‘a horrible mistake’.

I submit that Nirmala – and Henrik, for that matter – ought to have their ‘articles’ labelled prominently with a notice that clearly identifies them as ‘For Entertainment Purposes Only’…

~ Maggie J.