It’s been too, too long since we featured the nuttiest ‘new foods’ in a post designed to point out how far so-called menu innovation in the restaurant business has strayed from the sane and sensible. Just proves that it’s easier to go stupid than it is to genuinely create…
Chef Yu’s trio of new Turkey Testicle Pizzas. Why?
How fortunate this food editorialist is, to have a whole slew of new idiotic, pointless menu items come along all on the same rainy Wednesday morning in July! It’s a sign from the Food Gods that it’s time to take another strip off the truly insane, attention-craving ‘menu innovators’ out there…
Something totally unnecessary but minimally offensive…
One of the usual food news wire services informs us that Mars Inc., parent company of M&M, is offering an M&M Peanuts Peanut butter. Thanks to the presence of ample amounts of Peanut M&Ms, along with bits of crushed regular Chocolate Candy M&Ms, the product is only available in crunchy format. (Duh!)
It’s a limited-time offering (which is probably a good thing) , and it is only available online. Visit Candy Funhouse, the mega-online candy store for ordering details. And be prepared to pay $12.99 for a tiny, 1/2 lb. / 225 g jar.
“This limited edition crunchy peanut butter spread is like if a bag of peanut M&M’s exploded into a delicious mess!” the website says. “We’ll leave it up to you to decide if this is part of your balanced breakfast… We won’t tell!”
A Mozzarella monstrosity
You might think that West Allis, Wisconsin, would be the last place you’d see a pizza parlour specialty emerge – from a pizza parlour located inside a Jamaican restaurant. Really. But that’s the scoop on this menu madness snippet.
According to a story in the Milwaukee Record, Alphonso’s The Original makes what is probably the biggest deep-fried Mozzarella stick in the world. The free-hand crafted monsters – called Lightning Rods – weigh up to 2 lb. / 900 g and produce a prodigious cheese pull, according to feature writer Tyler Maas:
“According to the restaurant, they’re made fresh and from scratch every day. Because they’re prepared daily and kitchen space is limited at the moment, Alphonso’s runs out of Lightning Rods pretty quickly. Because of those factors, the restaurant limits customers to only two Lightning Rods per order (or four if a pizza is also ordered).”
Yes, it seems they’re that popular.
My question is, “Why?”
Street food crashes high society?
An open-air food market in Los Angeles is hoping to reel in the customers by offering a Truffle-enhanced Cheesesteak ‘special’ every Sunday. Smorgasbord serves both a burrata cheesesteak and cacio e pepe cheesesteak, each lovingly garnished with gratings of black truffle.
Okay. I’ve been to South Philly and had cheesesteaks at the original Philly Cheesesteak food stand overlooking the historic Delaware River. They scream genuine innovation and creativity! And they’re the quintessential STREET FOOD.
My question re.- the Smorgasbord versions: What street? Park Avenue?
(BTW: For the uninitiated, ‘cacio e pepe’ is a simple pasta-with-cheese dish. Bon Appetit describes it as, ‘a stripped-down mac and cheese’. Burrata is a luscious cheese, like a cream version of Fresh Mozz, described by Castello Cheese as, ‘Beautifully balanced in taste, […] a perfect blend of contrasting textures working together to create a landscape of soothing delights. Speaking of which…)
Who on earth needs Mac and Cheese Ice Cream?
To me, the combo sounds downright self-contradictory. Some may stretch the logic dangerously thin by claiming that both Ice Cream and Mac and Cheese are based on dairy products. But a more disfunctional dairy food mixed marriage I can hardly imagine!
The product in question is a collab between Kraft, makers of Kraft Dinner ‘instant’ mac and cheese, and New York City-based boutique Ice Cream maker Van Leeuwen (see photo, top of page). I have to admit, the official-portrait photos look enticing – the product boasts a beautiful golden yellow colour. But seeing that without any warning about what was actually in it, I’d think I was getting Peach.
Nevertheless, Kraft/Van Leeuwen Mac and Cheese Ice Cream will be available (for online ordering only) as of 11 a.m. today, at a mere $12 per pint. And, yes, it’s a limited-time offer.
And, finally… Something totally ridiculous
As one food blogger observes, we all thought that Pineapple was the ultimate oddball Pizza topping. But now, a Taiwanese chef has created a trio of new pies – featuring turkey testicles. You heard right. I applaud the basic idea – making use of a part of the turkey which would normally be thrown away or ground up into pet food – but the resulting product is just totally ridiculous.
Chef Yu of Sunny Queen Restaurant recently posted photos of his new creations on his facebook page. There are three versions: Japanese-style bonito testicles with cheese; Thai-style testicles with cheese; and Sea salt testicles with cheese.
The Facebook page also touts turkey gonads as, “‘Bursting but soft, tender texture of balls, pushing the limit of Italians.” They definitely push my limits, too.
Again, I ask, “Why?”
Just the most egregious examples…
That’s the latest on the menu madness front. And these are just the most extreme recent examples I’ve seen of non-innovation and uncreativity in the resto sphere. Believe it, or not!
~ Maggie J.