When there’s ‘nothing’ on cable, and even the streaming menus run dry, my sister, Erin, gets a little loopy. Call it an overactive imagination with nothing to keep it occupied. Sometimes, she comes up with the darnedest, wacky questions, and they usually involve food and drink. And, sometimes, I have no ready answer…
The original American Animal Crackers. The first ‘Animal Biscuits’ were imported to
North America in the 1870s. Now, Nabisco sells more than 40 million boxes
a year in the U.S. alone. National Animal Cracker Day is April 18.
Erin stays up later than I do, and I get up before anyone else in the house to put in a couple of hours of uninterrupted writing before the day starts officially. So… I landed at my desk this morning and found a note taped to my screen: “Can Vegetarians Eat Animal Crackers?”
There was residue of Sriracha Mayo on the paper, so I knew she’d been having a particularly boring evening and had gone to some lengths to spice it up. The little grey cells were working overtime.
But she makes an interesting point…
I have known more than one Vegetarian who defines their degree of meat and dairy exclusion by saying, “I won’t eat anything that has eyes!” “Do you eat Potatoes?” I counter. “Potatoes have eyes.” That one usually earns me castigation for not taking my vegetarian interlocutor seriously. But I feel it is something that has to be said. And the other person’s response to the jibe tells me a lot about how strongly they feel about their vegetarianism.
Yet, when asked about Eggs, some ‘nothing with eyes’ people are momentarily stymied. One such person said, “Okay. Sure, I’ll eat them.” Another told me, “No. Eggs are just unborn Chickens.” And Chickens have eyes.
Some vegetarians are strictly against drinking milk or consuming Milk products because, they say, the cow’s milk is meant for calves, not humans. “You’re cheating some baby Cow out of its breakfast,” one particularly strict Veggie explained. I’ve even heard one misguided vegetarian of my acquaintance claim that Cow’s milk is not good for humans and babies should be given only human breast milk. The victim of yet another internet myth. But I suppose it’s only fair to point out that cows have eyes.
Something fishy going on…
Pescatarians are mostly vegetarian but will eat Fish and Seafood. Yet, Fish have eyes. Flatfish like sole and Halibut actually have both eyes on the same side of their head. But that’s neither here nor there. Or, perhaps, it’s here and here. Anyway, I espouse a theory which has been postulated by a number of psychologists, that some people are more comfortable eating animals that look less like them. If it has the aforementioned eyes, a head separated from its body by a neck, four limbs and makes noises than can be imagined to be ‘talking’, then it’s too close to human to eat. I find this reasoning a touch thin, but it’s not something I need to keep me comfortable with my food choices. Each to his/her own.
But what about the Animal Crackers?
I’ve checked. Animal Crackers do have eyes. Some even have eyebrows and eyelids. One could argue that they’re not ‘real’ eyes, and, so, vegetarians need not worry. Others would, I’m sure, complain that eating even a simulacrum of an animal violates the principle of vegetarianism, and, so, is a no-no.
So, what’s a bored sister do do? I say, if this seemingly unanswerable question haunts you, just read the ingredients list on the box before buying your Animal Crackers to be sure there’s no real animal product in them.
Still with me?
If you’ve stuck with me this far, I’ll bet you’ve gotten the message: The meat-eating majority may mock vegetarians and even deprecate them for their at times hard-to-rationalize rationales for avoiding meat. But, at the same time, I’ve been mocked and deprecated by more than one vegetarian for defending my belief that it’s fine – even perfectly natural – to eat meat.
I say… Live by whatever rules you wish. As long as they’re not illegal or immoral. It’s the ethics that separates vegetarians from the omnivores and, as someone once said, ethics are relative. Life’s too short to argue about whether something has eyes.
~ Maggie J.