As I’ve mentioned before in this space, it seems some folks have had nothing better to do during the pandemic shut downs than come up with ‘novel’ (stupid?) things to do with food. A number of notable oddities (idiocies?) have surfaced in just the last week. Are they brilliant or ‘bozo’?
The Ant Brewery in Lahti, Finland, is making ‘sustainable’ beers
with orange peels, seaweed (above) and even goose poop…
The first thing I noticed in the oddities category was a story about how a Japanese company called Goku No Kimochi has collabbed with a neighbouring bakery to create an edible face mask. The bakery specializes in something called Melon Bread (see photo above) which looks like a melon scored for cubing.
The idea is, you can wear the bread as a mask all day, then eat it for supper once you’re safely inside your own home for the night. I don’t know how safe that would be if its been filtering out and collecting germs all day, but the makers insist they’ve had the device tested by a recognised lab and it’s been certified effective – as a mask.
The ‘masks’ can be purchased online via their own webpage – provided you can read Japanese – for a mere (US)$16.44. Salutory or stupid? You be the judge.
Next comes something you could , at least in theory, try at home. Its a sweet treat the creator, food streamer cOsmikat, calls Dessert Lasagna. The profile view of a cut through the confection does bear more than a passing resemblance to the classic Italian cheese and noodle casserole from which it takes its name.
But Phyllo Pastry takes the place of noodle layers separating fillings of lime cheesecake, cherry compote, and bourbon caramel with pistachios. The whole thing is topped with a White Chocolate Drizzle. I think I could eat this – perhaps with Vanilla Ice Cream on the side or Whipped Cream on top – just by itself, without a main course preceding as an excuse for ‘dessert’. Grand or grotesque?
How could I not stop and read a post headlined: “Finnish Brewery Showing How All Waste, Even Goose Poop, Can Be Used To Make Beer” ? The poop does not actually go into the beer, but it is dried and burned to smoke the malt used to make one of Ant Brew’s waste-inspired beers – a Dark Stout. Wild birds are tagged as reservoirs of all kinds of diseases, notably, many varieties of bird flu. I’m not convinced that burning the stuff would neutralize the infectious materials, but the Finnish Brewery insists its process is food safe. Other flavour bases for Ant’s ‘Wasted Potential Beers’ include orange peels, seaweed, roadside weeds, wild herbs, and mosses (see photo, above). Yummy or yucky?
Ant’s home town, Lahti, is in the running for the title of the European Commission’s annual ‘Green Capital of Europe’ title. The town’s household waste is already 99 percent reused, repurposed or recycled.
Knott’s Berry Farm, that ancient and venerable family day-trip destination a few blocks north of Disney land in suburban Los Angels, is celebrating its 100th anniversary ‘in a massive way’ with some limited-time massive Burger creations. For example: The Xcellerator Burger starts with a 12 in. / 30 cm Hawaiian style bun with 2 lb. /0.9 kg of 100 percent Angus beef, topped with 2 lb. / 0.9 kg of fries, 10 slices of bacon and slatherings of cheese sauce. Divine or dumb?
The Xcellerator is priced at $65 and is (sensibly) intended to serve 4-6.
And how about a Jersey Shore eatery that’s offering Hot Doritos-crusted soft shelled crabs? (See photo, top of page.) That would ruin the crab experience for me… Anyway, Callahan’s of Norwalk, NJ, is the place. They’re also offering a Cool Ranch Doritos-crusted crab, now, too, as a result of the rave reviews their Flamin’ Hot version has garnered. ‘Hot’ or not?
My final word
No matter how you frame them, the foregoing edibles are at best borderline fare. Why make them in the first place? Their creators must have been suffering unprecedentedly severe innovation deficit at the time, but felt they had to so come up with something to fill the resulting void.
Any or all of the above ‘dishes’ could have resulted from a desperate brainstorming session where everyone was saying, “Something must be done!” Somebody threw a totally nutty idea on the table, suggesting, “This is something…” And the others replied, “Therefore, we must do it!”
Why is it that some folks react to major – often serious – events and developments with goofy – often downright ridiculous – suggestions and creations? Muse on that…
~ Maggie J.