OREO Cookie - Portrait - © 2011 OREO

OREOS Ready For First Contact – With Milk And Cookies

We’ve been hearing that the U.S. military is preparing to release an official report on Unidentified Flying Objects. No one believes it will come anywhere near confirming that UFOs are extra-terrestrial, but at least one food company has prepared a welcome for the little green men from space – if they do arrive…

OREO Welcome Cookies -© 2021 OREOs“We hope you come in peace!”: Special OREOs designed to welcome
extraterrestrials to Earth. How thoughtful of the OREOs people
to post the nutritional info right on the front of the package!

Those crazy guys at OREOS have paused in their previously unrelenting quest to launch the most new flavours of any brand to cash in on the current blossoming mania about the possibility of extraterrestrial life.

The makers of what they, themselves, modestly call The World’s Favourite Cookie recently launched a special three-cookie pack of Original OREOS designed to welcome spacemen to Earth.

We come in Peace!

The idea is to offer the cookies (and, presumably, a glass of milk) to any aliens we might encounter, demonstrating without the need for any other kind of communication that we hope they come in peace.

The OREO people have also collabbed with a farmer in Kansas to create a crop circle three acres in size copying a ‘real’ crop circle design, and featuring a giant likeness of the embossed logo on the OREO wafer. (They hope it is large enough to be seen from space.)

OREO Crop Circle - © 2021 OREOs

The promotional stunt involved selling a limited number of the cookie packs online, and they reportedly sold out within three hours with a minimum of social media prompting (#oreooffering) – before most of the world even knew the special edition OREOs were available! We don’t know if they’ll be offered again, or what. OREO has been oddly silent on its next move, if there’s to be one.

Meanwhile…

Back here on Earth, many of us are more concerned about what’s going to happen to humanity in the next few decades. Modest inroads have been made into the development and production of plant-based foods, but everyone who knows says we’re going to have to convert entirely to plant-based protein from conventionally-raised meat by 2050. Otherwise, the flagrant unsustainability of our current agricultural practices will come to a head, and millions will starve. Not to mention that we’ll irreparably damage our one-and-only Earth’s climate and ecological systems, and doom ourselves to a Soylent Green future.

Unless, of course, the space men do come, with advanced technology and new ideas to save our food supply and and our world. Alas, by then all that that’s left to greet them may be a packet of very stale OREOs ‘welcome’ cookies lying on the ‘official’ UFO landing pad in St. Paul, Alberta.

Submitted for your approval…

I remember seeing an original 1959 Twilight Zone episode about this very eventuality, based on a 1950 short story by Damon Knight in Galaxy Science Fiction magazine. The extraterrestrials arrive with grace and deference, bearing a gift: A book (in their own language) titled To serve Man. Throughout the episode, experts struggle to translate the text, and one of them decides to take the space men up on their offer of a free trip to their home planet. Just as the guy is boarding the space ship, three of his colleagues race up to a barrier designed to keep non-passengers out:

“Don’t go, Jack!” one yells. “To Serve Man – it’s a cookbook!”

Too late for Jack. And we never find out what happened to humanity after that.

My take

Just goes to show, you should be careful what you wish for…

~ Maggie J.

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